Bookies around South London saw massive inflows of cash last week as speculators bet on which Harris academy might win the highly coveted Assassin’s Read competition for 2014.
“It was incredible,” said Ida Flutter, the owner of one high street bookmaker. “There’s been more dough put on which school win than any football competition we’ve taken bets on, or even the Man Booker Prize for Fiction. The outcome was so uncertain, and the money’s been put on any one of half a dozen contending academies."
Now, however, we can reveal which school has won the trophy, its students having beaten off stiff competition through hard work, cunning and all-round excellence. Yes, it’s the pupils from South Norwood who get to lift the prize, their fingers callused from having flicked over thousands of pages to achieve their goal. Well done to them!
Congratulations are due, however, to every one of the participating schools, in particular to Morden and Bermondsey who were hot on South Norwood’s heels and gave them a tough run to the finishing line. The results could have gone either way, and we were left guessing until the end as to who would prevail. The full results are given below.
A big thank you must also go to the various spy handlers across the Federation who helped to direct assassins in their murky quest, and who made the missions possible.
We may have won the battle, but remember the war goes on – a war against festering imaginations, stories left unheard… and rubbish TV!
Until next time,